alanis morissette in her own words
the album title:
in the past when i felt infatuated with someone i wanted to pass
through that phase if not skip over it entirely because i felt out of
control and overwhelmed...relationships equated confusion and pain to
me...upon realizing why relationships exist and understanding myself
more, i can now enjoy the heart-palpitating phase of infatuation once
again...
the songs:
front row
a stream of consciousness recounting of three separate conversations
with people or situations that inspired me in some way. the chorus
allows me to express how privileged i feel to be able to be intimate
with these people to provide an environment for them in which they can
feel safe...where i can see all parts of them without judgment.
thank u
first song written with glen for the record...after having stopped for
what felt like the first time in my life and experiencing a deep
stillness, i was left with an overwhelming sense of gratitude,
inspiration and compassion...it felt natural for this to be the first
song release as it encapsulates the heart-space from which all the
songs on this record sprung.
are you still mad
on jagged little pill i viscerally reacted to certain
people/situations that resulted in a cathartic release...on this song
i allow myself the emotional reaction (which i think is important)
while also taking responsibility for my role in the relationships
which resulted in a sense of closure that had not been realized by my
simply reacting or solely pointing the finger.
baba
my direct experiences with spiritual materialism within certain
communities (particularly in the west), and the idealism of
eastern/exotic spiritual practices...sensing the dissonance between
the competition, elitism and judgment within some of these culturally
adopted rituals/gods and compassion itself.
sympathetic character
i needed to get to the root of why i was so afraid of conflict and
being around anger. we live in a society that sees rage as something
that is to be repressed or something that is explosive and
destructive...we aren't taught how to express our rage, having it be
heard and released in a non-destructive way. this song was my
recounting my fears of having spent a lot of time around people who
couldn't contain (their rage). the writing of this song enabled me to
see anger as natural and understand it even more than i had before.
that i would be good
i was meditating in my closet and i asked myself "what do you want?"
the couch
this song was written following a conversation i had with my dad
regarding his life story. i was able to see him for who he was
(outside of his role as my father) for what felt like the first time.
it was very healing for both of us.
can't not
this song was written in 1995 after i had started touring for jagged
little pill and it reflects some of what my mindset was at the time.
it was originally being recorded as a b-side but once it was recalled
i wanted it on the record.
ur
a brief and retrospective look at my "career" in chronological order.
the first verse being about when i was 10 years old. the second verse
being about my mid teens. and the third verse being about the time
right after the jagged little pill tour. parts of the choruses are
other people's perspective and parts are mine.
i was hoping
the choruses in this song are about my having been excited with the
newly discovered opportunity that i saw--the relationship i was
in--and what it was providing for the both of us. i had never
understood the healing quality of safety and intimacy, or the
consciousness that was required of me to be in that kind of
relationship until that point. the verses are my recounting three
separate conversations/experiences.
one
i was safe enough with this person to show him parts of myself that i
needed to express in order to change them. i hadn't been able to do
so in the past because those parts of myself would have been judged.
in being judged i would not have been able to move through them. i
also explore and understand the concept of our interconnectedness.
would not come
revelations based on what happened in the past three years in
particular. fame, money, "status"...constantly feeling that i had to
look outside of myself to see who i was and to feel bliss. having to
"achieve," run, grasp or "become" something other than what i was in
order to be worthy/accepted. putting it down on paper made me realize
the disservice i was doing to my true self and how transparent and
unfulfilling it can be to put all my happiness in the hands of
external brass rings.
unsent
this song started with my writing the first verse and realizing that
there were many more people with whom i hadn't had closure...romantic,
platonic and professional relationships. some of the names are
nicknames, some of them are variations on their names and some of them
are their real names...i talked to some of the people that inspired
the verses and came to realize that this song encouraged me to connect
with these people directly and not rely on songwriting as a way of my
avoiding direct/difficult contact.
so pure
both the expression of anger and the expression of joy have been
equally vulnerable for me at different times in my life. i allowed
myself to be inspired and infatuated with this person who is
unapologetically and exuberantly themself.
joining you
my reaching out to a friend who was questioning his own suffering by
my saying that who we are within can manifest itself externally rather
than allowing society's illusions to define who we are.
heart of the house
my tribute to my mother and to femininity in general. i thought in
order to function in what i saw as a patriarchal society i had to
adopt masculine qualities in order to be treated with the respect i
deserved. in doing so i was unwittingly being chauvinistic myself and
further confirming the lack of integrating both the feminine and
masculine qualities in all of us. upon finding the gray area i
naturally wanted to honor my relationship with my mother and with
femininity itself.
your congratulations
feeling for so long that i had to compromise/downplay my power,
intelligence or talent in order not to threaten and lose the affection
of those that i loved. there being this underlying belief that
somehow both people couldn't share the power, that one person had to
win and that the other had to "lose." my wanting for it to have been
possible for both people to "win." with being in the public eye since
i was young, those that were close to me often felt as though i was
being inundated with praise from so many people that they themselves
(the people i was closest to) wouldn't acknowledge what i was doing.
the pressure question:
i see every recording i've done as a snapshot of that time in my life. i feel fulfilled when i feel the songs were inspired and representative of myself in the moment. in taking the valuable time off that i did, it allowed me the freedom to write from a place of love and inspiration (even if it was about pain or confusion) rather than a place of impatience or fear. i consider my records to be "successful" the moment they're finished and i had/have no expectations for them.
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